The Virtual Corkscrew Museum's Weekly Newspaper

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Number 578

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News Archive

A Corkscrew Puzzle

This puzzle appeared in the April, 1884 issue of St. Nicholas magazine.

Each of the small objects (numbered from one to fourteen) may be described by a word of four letters. When these are rightly guessed, and arranged one below another, as the plan of the corkscrew shows, the letters forming the corkscrew (represented by the heavy dots) will spell what we all expect in April.

Another Puzzle

From the Charleston Gazette, August 19, 1951 (West Virginia)

The Corkscrew Boy

From the July 16, 1955 of The Billboard

From the June 23, 1958 of The Billboard


Screw Caps

See the second article in the September 6, 2009 issue for how to unscrew it!

Heinz Von Stein

Editor's note: a poem by Jakob Victor Scheffel and translated by Charles Godfrey Leland in Sartain's Union Magazine of Literature and Art, edited by John Sartain and published in 1852.

Out rode from his wild, dark castle
Tho terrible Heinz von Stein;
He came to the door of a tavern
And gazed on its swinging sign.

He sat himself down at a table.
And growled for a bottle of wine;
Up came with a flask and a corkscrew
A maiden of beauty divine.

Then, seized with a deep love-longing,
He uttered, " O damosel mine,
Suppose you just give a few kisses
To the valorous Ritter von Stein!"

But she answered, " The kissing business
Is entirely out of my line;
And I certainly will not begin it
On a countenance ugly as thine!"

Oh, then the bold knight was angry,
And cursed both coarse and fine;
And asked, " How much is the swindle
For your sour and nasty wine?"

And fiercely he rode to the castle
And sat himself down to dine;
And this is the dreadful legend
Of the terrible Heinz von Stein.

Editor's note: Here is the orginal German version. It is interesting to note that Leland translated Glas und Flasche as Flask and corkscrew. The corkscrew is not mentioned in the original.

Es zog von dannen der wilde,
Gefürchtete Heinz von Stein:
Er zog von dannen und kehrte,
In einem Wirthshaus ein.

Er setze sich stolz zu Tische,
Und herrschte "Bringt mir Wein!"
Husch lief mit Glas und Flasche
Des Wirthes Tochterlein.

Da ward ihm ach! so wehe—
Er seufzt: "OHolde mein!
Wie wär's gäbst du ein Küsschen Dem tapfern
Heinz von Stein?"

Sie sagte: "Wollt ihr ein Küsschen
Von einem Madel fein,
So musst Ihr vor allen Dingen,
Ein hübsche Junge sein."

Das wurmte den Ritter sehre
In seinem Herzen drein;
Er grollte: " Was bin ich schuldig
Für deinen sauern Wein?"

Drauf ritt er trotzig heime:
Und kehrte nimmer ein:
Das ist die schaurige Mähre
Vom wilden Heinz Von Stein.

On A Corkscrew

Editor's note: This poem was written by Jonathan Swift in 1724. How true this rings!!!

Though I, alas! a prisoner be,
My trade is prisoners to set free.
No slave his lord's commands obeys
With such insinuating ways.
My genius piercing, sharp, and bright,
Wherein the men of wit delight.
The clergy keep me for their ease,
And turn and wind me as they please.
A new and wondrous art I show
Of raising spirits from below;
In scarlet some, and some in white ;
They rise, walk round, yet never fright.
In at each mouth the spirits pass,
Distinctly seen as through a glass:
O'er head and body make a rout,
And drive at last all secrets out;
And still, the more I show my art,
The more they open every heart.

A greater chemist none than I
Who, from materials hard and dry,
Have taught men to extract with skill
More precious juice than from a still.

Although I'm often out of case,
I'm not ashamed to show my face.
Though at the tables of the great
I near the sideboard take my seat;
Yet the plain 'squire, when dinner's done,
Is never pleased till I make one;
He kindly bids me near him stand,
And often takes me by the hand.

I twice a-day a-hunting go;
Nor ever fail to seize my foe;
And when I have him by the poll,
I drag him upwards from his hole;
Though some are of so stubborn kind, I'm forced to leave a limb behind.

I hourly wait some fatal end;
For I can break, but scorn to bend.

Nonsense by Lewis Carroll

Editor's note: This is an excerpt from Humpty Dumpty's speech to Alice in Through the Looking Glass.

I took a corkscrew from the shelf:
I went to wake them up myself.

And when I found the door was locked,
I pulled and pushed and kicked and knocked.

And when I found the door was shut,
I tried to turn the handle, but --- "

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©2009 Don Bull, Editor


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